I CAN. WE WILL.

Jeffrey Tan’s Story

Inner strength drawn from an unbreakable bond

Caring for a loved one battling cancer is a journey of immense challenges and emotional ups and downs. Jeffrey stood steadfastly by his wife Carol’s side, from the initial shock of her Triple-Negative Breast Cancer diagnosis to the everyday trials of caregiving. It’s been a journey marked by strength, resilience and unwavering love that unites them to move forward and enjoy life, one day at a time.

1. How did you feel when Carol was first diagnosed?

When we were together at Carol’s gynaecologist appointment for her usual routine annual appointment and her doctor raised her concern with the lumps, frightening thoughts and concerns came to my mind. It was made worse after we received the call from her doctor to immediately see her after the scan results. During the consultation, when her doctor disclosed the worst, Carol was obviously distraught and likewise I felt the same. The initial discovery was obviously disappointing and we had feelings of helplessness and distress. And the anxiety of the appointment ahead with the specialist doctor. Her doctor’s calmness and advice on how to approach the steps ahead helped us both.

2. How do you feel about her strength and resilience to fight cancer?

Carol’s strong faith helped a lot to give her the strength and determination to undertake the journey ahead. Her strength helped me to carry on too. It did help that Carol’s doctor is a fellow Catholic and that helped strengthen Carol’s resolve to fight her cancer.

3. What did you and your family do to take your mind off Carol’s treatments?

Mostly we kept busy helping take care of our five grandchildren. This was the number one activity which kept us busy during Carol’s treatment. She continued to go about her usual daily grandparents’ duties such as driving them around for their activities, appointments and buying meals rather than staying home to rest. We also continued to meet with close friends for meals.

4. What is the most challenging part of being a caregiver?

The challenges I faced as a main caregiver was to stand strong together as a couple and encourage Carol throughout the treatment journey. It’s taxing for her to make the monthly, weekly and daily trips down to National Cancer Centre during the various phases of treatment. Not forgetting the painful episode she had to endure when she contracted shingles and then had a fractured foot.

5. Where did you turn for help & encouragement?

Basically the journey starts between us. Adjusting our daily schedule for treatment visits to National Cancer Centre and continuing to take care of our 5 grandkids kept us continuously busy as per normal.

6. Where do you find the inner strength to be mentally and physically strong for Carol?

The inner strength comes from our love as husband and wife for more than 40 years.

The inner strength comes from our love as
husband and wife for more than 40 years.

7. If there’s anything you would do differently in this cancer journey with Carol, what would that be?

If I could do something else differently, I would get her to eat healthier food and more healthy tonic soup.

8. How has this journey strengthened your love for each other?

As our life’s journey continues as we grow older, we may encounter a health situation unexpectedly. Therefore we should continue to enjoy our life together and spend loving moments with our loved ones especially our five grandchildren. Watching them grow each year and bonding with them together never tires us.

9. Where are you now in your journey with caregiving for Carol?

We have shared the journey coming to 3 years and will continue our day to day activities together to spend our time going about our responsibilities as grandparents to our 5 grandkids whenever we are called upon to help with chauffeuring and babysitting duties.

10. Could you describe how sharing your story has affected your journey as a caregiver?

Sharing gives us the opportunity to talk about the trials we went through, from the moment we found out about the cancer, the pain Carol experienced with shingles breakout due to low immunity and undergoing the pain from her foot fracture. These painful experiences hopefully will give encouragement to those who are going through a similar journey.

11. What words of wisdom would you give to caregivers?

Take the journey hand in hand with your spouse and continue to share the love together.

Share your ‘I Can’ story

Have you been diagnosed with TNBC and chose to forge ahead on your own terms? Do you have a loved one who turned to face TNBC head-on? As a caregiver, do you have tips and stories of encouragement for other caregivers?

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Remember that there is power in the community, others with a TNBC diagnosis could feel supported and inspired by understanding how you are taking on TNBC.

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Stories of Inner Strength

Stories of
Inner Strength

Stories of Inner Strength

Stories ofInner Strength

Stories of
Inner Strength